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terryp

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2007-06-06-8:59 p.m.

A New Rhythm

It takes a while to get in sync with a new life rhythm. New family dynamic with people missing, new schedule, new friends, added activities, subtracted activities. My brain just keeps expecting things to happen that don't, and keeps being surprised by things that used to not happen and do.

I've started walking/running with my friend. She's really nice and likes to talk and is very patient with Andrew. When I run she cuts across the football field to cath up with me so we can talk some more. When I walk we're comfortable, going at the same pace, never lacking for things to say.

Being officially single brings surprises, all within myself, that jolt me, startle me, and sometimes even enchant me. It is all unexpected, but not all bad. Loneliness even has its own aching charms at times that encourage thoughts and feelings of creativity that nothing else could.

My new schedule sometimes leaves me with my mouth hanging open at the end of the day. "But I never had a chance to..." Or "I should have..." I have the same amount of hours I always have, probably even more since I get up so early, but they're arranged in a way that's been so confusing to me, simply because it's different.

But I think I and my new life are beginning to walk in step with each other, finally. We hold hands and step around the empty places. We delight in the scenery along the way. We take turns pushing and pulling each other up the hills. Maybe one day the path will be worn and friendly and it will seem right again to be walking at all.

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