2001-10-20-12:47 p.m.

I hope I'm never the guy in the middle.

Abby's boyfriend told us about this barber shop he's beeen going to since he was little. It's out of the way, tucked behind a convenience store. It has a small, awkward parking lot and they keep odd hours. I guess that's why we had never heard of it before.

Andrew raved about it. He said they were fast, friendly and cheap, but whatever you do, don't go to the guy in the middle. I decided to take the boys there when it was time for haircuts.

Stan ended up taking them. Abby's boyfriend watched them all come in the door. We oohed and ahed over them - and then we saw little Andrew. Words stuck in our throats until Big Andrew voiced them for us. "You took him to the guy in the middle, didn't you?"

Daniel got the guy in the middle once. ONCE. He's only eleven, but he'll even go and say, no thank you to that guy in the middle to keep from having a ratty haircut.

Today Stan and little Andrew had to get haircuts. Stan knows to go to the guy on the left. He's the old guy who's been cutting hair since he was sixteen and he owns the place. He takes his time and talks to you, he knows how to blend hair in on the sides and keep from giving hair a funny shape on the top.

Andrew sat beside me waiting his turn. I calculated that, with our place in line, the guy in the middle was going to be patting his chair and smiling at Andrew any minute now. I sweated it out wondering how I would keep from getting my son a ratty haircut AND keep from hurting the guy in the middle's feelings. You can't explain subtleties like that to a three-year-old. I knew that if I had to choose between a ratty haircut and making a little scene about who was going to cut his hair I would choose a bad haircut.

So when Stan asked Andrew if he wanted to take his chair and Andrew said no, I panicked a little. Then Andrew pointed and said, "I want that guy." Yes! He was pointing to the guy on the other end.

I wondered what it must be like to be the guy in the middle. Does he know that he gives bad haircuts? Can he see parents pointing out the GOOD barbers to their children? My gosh, cutting hair is what he does, part of who he is and he's not good at it! I feel bad for him, but I sure don't want him cutting my kids' hair. I figure he could take a little more time or learn a little more and do a good job.

Being a mom and writing - that's what I do, most of who I am. I don't know if I could handle being the guy in the middle at those things. Mediocrity. I can't think of too many things sadder than that. It makes me shiver. It makes me want to try harder.

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