2001-09-26-9:07 p.m.

I have a few regrets in my life. One of them is not saying goodbye to Daddy when I left to go on my honeymoon. One is not having professional pictures made of all the kids when they were really small. Another is not letting Abby lay her head on my shoulder in church when she was younger.

We'd be sitting in church - the Proffer family taking up half a pew, from Abby on down to baby Andrew. Abby would want to sit next to me so she could lie down on my lap or at least rest her head on my shoulder. For some reason I thought letting her do that was being an irresponsible parent. Like there was a voice in my head saying, "Children should be attentive in church." So I would shrug her off and hiss at her to "Sit up!" There would be no sluggards in the Proffer pew on Sunday morning.

Little girls grow up. They turn thirteen, then fourteen and they not only don't want to sit with their parents in church anymore, they downright don't even consider their parents actual people anymore. I'd look at Abby sitting with her friends and wonder how it happened so fast. I wished she was sitting by me wanting to put her head in my lap. Too late. I missed it.

But Sunday was different. Stan was sick, Daniel and Becky and Andrew were in children's church, Megan sat with her friends. It was just me and Benjamin looking for a pew and we saw Abby sitting by herself in our regular spot. We sat down by her and she didn't leave! She even smiled, I think.

Sometimes you get a second chance. When your sixteen year old sits next to you and actually wants you to put your arm around her because she's shivering, you do it! And later, when your other daughter tells you it's only because Abby's boyfriend wasn't there and she's not getting along with her other friends, you don't care at all. Really! It doesn't matter why she's there. She just is and you know this will probably not happen again any time soon, and you hope your hand is warm on her shoulder, not ice cold like it usually is.

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