2001-10-13-8:45 a.m.

The tooth fairy agent who covers our area is a real slacker and it's time she was exposed.

My children never get their payments on time. They go to bed with their bloody little teeth in ziplock bags under their pillows and wake up to find that the tooth fairy has "forgotten" again. They look at me with sad little expressions and say, "Maybe tomorrow night." I roll my eyes and say not nice words under my breath about that little so and so who gets children's hopes up and then doesn't deliver.

Who is in charge here? Who appoints the fairy who does tooth duty anyway? Is the job of collecting teeth and leaving little bits of money under pillows at the bottom of the pay scale or what? Nobody tells you this stuff when you have children. They just allow you to think that everyone gets a good tooth fairy, a nice, timely, dependable tooth fairy, not one who waits like three days to come and then leaves lame notes about how she's so busy. Come on! Who is she kidding? We know it's because she's incompetent. She really should be replaced. We ought to have the one I had when I was little. She was there when you needed her. But.. she only gave a dime. My kids would never go for that.

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